The inventor, Mgabe Ogg, says yesterday, "This invention is something that is needed for a long time. Many people are totally confused when they hear about historical events. My ancestor, Mgabe bin Ogg, who dies 300 years ago, is more and more annoyed about newspaper articles and history documentaries that make no distinction between the present and future tense." Mr Ogg continues, "His father tells him to use language with precision. But the past tense has not been invented. It is very confusing. In the future, things are better thanks to this invention."
This reporter then asks Mr Ogg, "But you say the past tense has not been invented. But earlier you say you invent the past tense yesterday. Which is it?"
"I invent this new tense just for this very purpose," says Mr Ogg. "To alleviate confusion."
Unnamed sources indicated that Mr Ogg's next project is a campaign to educate people in the proper usage of apostrophe's in possessive noun's. Next year, he also tries to create something called the "future" tense, to describe things that are not happening now. This is regarded as another major breakthrough.
In related news, the US Senate passes a new law making it a federal crime for anyone to use the word "ilk". One scholar, years later, says, "This word is the biggest setback for the English language since the Normans invade England in 1066 and we get all those damn Anglo-Saxon words."